Just over 5 months have passed since Chris left on a training ride was hit by a disqualified driver and never came home. At first all his things were a comfort to me and now they are upsetting and I feel I have to begin to remove some to try to move on but can't help feeling that I am getting rid of Chris. It is so painful but realise I can't leave things as if he will walk in the door.
I have great family and friend support but the loneliness I am feeling is emormous, I don't go out when invited as I feel out of place because Chris would have been there normally, I hardly ever visit my friends because he would have gone with me, the only normal thing in my life is work. Pretty sad when you social life is work.
Written on 12 Aug 2010
Over 2 years since incident
Tags:
Cyclist hit by Disqualified Driver
Maureen McKenzie | 14 Aug 2010
Denise thinking of you and care so much. After my husband died I couldn’t ‘get rid’ of his things for a long time and haven’t for Nik yet. Maybe if you look at a forum ‘Memories’ you will see we all have different ways of dealing with this deep personal issue. I also understand how hard it is to ‘go out’ as you feel someone special is missing – only do it when you’re ready, it took so long for me. Be gentle on yourself, warm caring Maureen
Carolyn Bowering | 14 Aug 2010
Denise I felt so sad for you reading how you are feeling. You would not be normal if you were not feeling like you are, after all such a very short time ago you lost your other half of so many years. I worry that you may get rid of things which you will later regret. As I have heard many times that after such a loss we should not make any great changes in life for at least a year and I have felt in my own situation a year is no time at all in the journey. Could you possibly store a lot of the more important things out of your sight in a shed or at a friends home for the present. As you cant visit your friends I hope they visit you instead more than normal for now. I feel you are expecting too much of yourself after such a short time and need to realise anyone else would also grieve for the rest of their life to varying degress of intensity. I am sure as time goes by life will get a little easier and in the meantime this community will give you a place to feel understood, particularly the group for those who have lost their other half. Thinking of you. Carolyn
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ANN LEWIS | 14 Aug 2010
Hi Denise, my heart goes out to you.
It’s still early days for you, so be kind to yourself. It’s no use me telling you that your friends would want you to visit, because you know that already. You will again though in your own time, and when you feel ready.
Just know that we are thinking about you and any time you want to send a message do so. You are among people on this site who understand, and want to help you though your dreadful time Denise.
Hugs, Ann xx