I hate the words 'are you ready for Christmas?'
No, I'm not, don't even want to think about it, but know I can't escape.
How can I stop everyone else from enjoying the festive season, just because I won't?
My heart has that horrible ache, that won't go away, like its tearing in two. The tears flow at the drop of a hat, for myself and everyone who's also trying to 'survive' that first Christmas. And we will, in our own way, I know that, but that won't stop the pain of those missing from our lives when they should be here.
Having lived through 'the first christmas after' with my previous two lost littlies, I thought I knew what to expect. But this time its a hundred times worse, cos Adam was with us for 22yrs, not just a few hrs or days.
I talk to his picture every day, and know that somewhere, he hears me. But that's not the same as giving him a christmas hug.
Love you my boy, give your brother and sister a big hug for me, and bumble and froggie too.
Written on 15 Dec 2011
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Julie McIntyre | 22 Dec 2011
I know how you feel Julie, I believe Lee is still with me but its just not the same. This year we are in the Uk but it doesnt matter how far we travel or what I do to avoid Xmas the heartache follows.
Hang in there, time stands still for no-oe and Xmas will soon be over.
Hugs Julie
Julie Triffle | 25 Dec 2011
Thanks Judy and Julie – I got through it. But I’m so glad I have this website full of support behind me.
Thanks again, Julie
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Judy Hibble
| 17 Dec 2011
This will be our fourth Christmas without Liam. I am dreading the day already as it is always hard to get through. We do try to make it special for the kids though so they don’t miss out on the festive season.
I hope you find some peace, Julie at this difficult time.
Hugs
Judy