< back to gary's blogwaste of life

Our lives changed forever almost 13 months ago, that phone call from my daughter in law to say Matt had "passed away" I thought "passed away" what does she mean! Perhaps a strange choice of words as I guess you always think of that phrase  reserved for someone whom is ill and it is expected to pass on. Neverless the words were ringing in my ears and I could not comprehend them for sometime it was like I was in another place. I only saw Matt's new motor bike once about 2 weeks prior to the accident. It was his reward for doing it tough for a lot of years. He had been in a job he disliked for 8 years he had stuck it out for his wife and 3 kids until something better came along. He had finally "turned the corner" he had a job that he loved had only just built a new home and was enjoying life to the fullest. He had talked about getting a bike for years, he had one 10 years prior but had sold it to get his deposit on their first home. It was now time to reap the benefits of his hard work in the form of a brand new Suzuki 1000 motor bike. No one in family was keen on his aquisition least of all me. It was black and looked pretty scary to me, however I thought at 33 he is responsible he loves his family he would not take any risks. I am not sure what happened on Gorge Road, I have been up there many times over the past year to try and work it out. Was speed involved? probably! The bike had just had it's first service and was "run in" he was a good rider (he had had dirt bikes and quad bikes between his two road bikes. It didn't make sense. The dreaded identiying the body at Lobethal the following day was the worst experience of my life. My wife and I drove Matt's wife Kerry to the funeral home to meet Police and make identification ,I felt gutted. The funeral all the preparation and trying to hold it together has been such a strain. Kerry has been able to grieve she has done it really tough along with bringing up 3 kids between 3 and 12. I probably haven't had that opportunity as I think someone has to hold it all together. My time will come I guess, we al grieve differently. The part I can't get my head around is how friends,work collegues, aquaintances expect your life to bounce back to normal as soon as the funeral is over. I have come to the conclussion that unless it has happened to them they would not have a clue what you are going through. Is this only me or have others found themselves in the same situation?

Written on 02 Apr 2010
Over 3 years since incident
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