I dreamed a dream

ANN LEWIS | 19 Apr 2010

I’ve had a few dreams about Jane but nothing as significant as this one. I was walking down the street and saw Jane standing on the street corner looking for business as a prostitute! How the hell did I come to have a dream like that? She’d left home and fallen on hard times. I walked up to her and talked to her for ages, trying to persuade her to leave that horrible life and come home with me.
Eventually she agreed and we walked off together.
I woke up with a tremendous feeling of satisfaction, as I’d saved my daughter from a bad life and taken her home safely.
Looking back, I think that dream was about making me feel that even though I couldn’t save her from her fate in reality, I had had some control in saving her from a what I thought would be a terrible life.
I may just be making up a pile of tripe in my head, but at the time it was very satisfying. Strange!

Bek | 20 Apr 2010

I have always had an ability to sense and know things before they became known; and had many dreams that have come true as well as experiances of someone who has died.

At the cemetry when we were burying my pop, the family tossed rose petals on his coffin; but they kept blowing back out despite there being no breeze or wind at all that day.
My cousin and I agreed he was blowing them back telling us to take our stuffy flowers….

I also sensed him watching the entire service, and finding bits amusing….

I am known for having red marks around my neck, and have been told by many that I have a small child that hangs around my neck; the small child is a little boy who I knew during his 18 months of life before he died of cancer.

Julie McIntyre | 20 Apr 2010

Hi Ann I reckon you are right with your interpretation. As parents we need to protect, guide and save our kids from harm. Trouble is when they die we cant bring them home, we cant stop the pain. There is nothing worse than death; but to watch a child turn to prostitution to feed a drug habit would be devastating. You couldnt save Jane from dying in the crash but you saved her from another horrible fate even it was in your dream. We never lose the bond to nuture and protect not even in death. The bond or the invisible silver cord never breaks. XX

Bek when I was about 15 I worked in a deli. There was a little girl about 4 years old who would come into the shop. She had leukemia. When the boss wasnt looking I would give her extra lollies. One day I was on the bus when her Mum sat next to me. She was taking little Tracy to the Childrens hospital. I looked at Tracy, she smiled and held her hand open to offer me a gumball. She died a few months later.
Many years later a pyschic told me she could see a little girl holding her hand out to give me something. I hadnt thought of Tracy for years but instantly I could see this cute little girl handing me her gumball.
So yes I believe this little boy is your friend and the petals, yep I believe that too.

Thanks Ann and Bek for sharing your inner thoughts. xx

Julie McIntyre | 21 Apr 2010

Climbing the Ladder

I see a ladder I need climb, I get to the top only to find another ladder, the rungs are further apart but still I climb. The more I climb even more rungs are added.They are rough and hurt my hands.

I look down and see nothing but darkness so I keep climbing, exhaustion making my body ache.

I wake before I reach the top, I feel the pain creep back into my heart. I desperately needed to reach the top but I wasnt strong enough.

I cant climb the never ending ladder.

I dreamt this often especially in the first year. I realise now I was trying to climb out from the dark hole of despair. I still havent reached the top and doubt that I ever will but I am beginning to see some light.

Julie McIntyre | 22 Apr 2010

You will need to read Gary’s blog
“Horrible Memories” to know what is going on here.

I heard it on the radio too and it sickened me. Lee died on a motorbike but many years ago he had mate who died just a few hundred metres from that intersection. Lee died through no fault of his own but his mate I think went under a semi. The poem I wrote on my home page in favourite sayings is about them both. Most riders know the risks, Lee knew but chose to ride anyway. While I get angry with drivers who fail to take more care around riders I can sometimes get angry with the riders for taking the risk and putting their families through hell when they get killed or injured. Lee was trained in racing at Mallala but his defensive skills were no match against a car. Major crash told me he had no chance.

Take Care and lets hope those 2 riders were okay x

Hey Gary hope you dont mind but the strangest thing happened. I sent you the above email from work. I got in the car to come home and the song,
“Born to Be Wild came on the radio”
Some of the lyrics caught my breath. Just after telling you that I sometimes get angry with the riders including my Lee for putting us through this hell, I hear this song.
Lee always said he was here for a good time not a long time. He told many he would die before he reached 30, well he died before he reached 31 so he was close. The lyrics describe Lee perfectly, he didnt want to die but he wasnt going to waste life living on fear.

Get your motor runnin’
Head out for the highway
Lookin for adventure
And whatever comes our way
Like a true natures child
They were born to be wild.

When I lost Lee I believed he was communicating through music. Whenever I asked a question I always got the answer often through the lyrics of songs.
Now you know why I think this grieving may have sent me a bit nutty. But if I am nutty then so are alot of others because many including my family have felt messages or whatever it is coming through. All we need is to be open, dont question and BELIEVE

Julie McIntyre | 22 Apr 2010

DucatiLee

We were living in our house at Rosewater with the long driveway and huge garage. I saw Lee coming down the driveway. I couldnt wait for Lee to reach the garage.

‘Lee come see your ducati, we had it all fixed up’

Lee looked at me with his beautiful eyes and said,

‘Mar I dont need that bike anymore’

I woke up as though I had been kicked in the guts, angry, how ungrateful was Lee after we fixed his ducati.

Then reality hit, Lee didnt need his ducati, he was killed riding the ducati. He didnt need that bike anymore, the pain moved from my stomach as the knife dug deeper into my heart.

This was only a dream but it was easier than the waking nightmare.

Maureen McKenzie | 23 Apr 2010

Julie, I’ve also had amazing ‘connections’ through dreams that I feel are so ‘real’ and also ‘symbols’ since my husband died and now my son. I’ll just relate my stories re my son first. When I carried Nik’s ashes inside (the heaviest load I’ve ever felt) a butterfly flew in with me. I’m so glad my son and grand-daughter were with me as they could also witness this unbelievable ‘sign’! The butterfly landed on Nik’s photo in the bookshelves that he’d made, then above to a photo of Nik with his treasured girlfriend and niece. I said to my grand-daughter “It’s Nik’s spirit – he’s with the girls he loves.” It then flew to the window, finally I grabbed the camera and we took photos. I asked the butterfly to “Please land on the kookaburra” -the kookaburra being a symbol of my husband – it then landed on the glass kookaburra in the window – took my breath away, I have a photo! My son caught it and then my grand-daughter released it -“He’s free nana”. So beautiful – the first piece of leatherwork Nik made had a butterfly on it, the first piece of jewellery he made was a butterfly. We’ve had so many amazing experiences with butterflies since – they are my connection with dear Nik, I keep saying “Thanks Nik”!
I had a ‘real’ dream – Nik rang me
“Hi mum it’s me”, my heart stopped -
“Nik it can’t be love you died”,
“No I’m over on the peninsula fishing, I’m making some kitchens for the fishermen here.”
“Honey you died, I saw you in your coffin.”
“No mum, I was just faking it.”
I woke and was so ‘torn’ between believing it and not believing. It was so typical of Nik, he ‘played down’ everything. That day I was looking through photos and found an amazing panoramic one of Nik away on the most beautiful bay on the peninsula with his back to the camera. I knew that was Nik’s ‘heaven’!

Julie McIntyre | 23 Apr 2010

Maureen I just got your message on my phone and had to reply straight away, the butterflies yes I believe, we get feathers. And your dream is amazing, what connections we have. Did you know we also fish on the peninsular and guess what we build kitchens. Lee was meant to take over the business. We build kitchens and install them all over the state. Was Nik a cabbie? My last mothers day was spent with Lee installing at Pt Turton Hardwicke Bay, Warooka, we did 3 kitchens that day. It was hard work and a long day but the memory is something I will treasure for all my mothers days.
Oh yes that was a real dream, have you noticed that Nik comes and goes, Lee visits off an on but when he is around we all feel him.
Thanx soooo much for sharing your experiences and beautiful dream. Gotta run XXXX

ANN LEWIS | 25 Apr 2010

Maureen, I just read your butterfly story and it took my breath away. You are such a lovely supportive lady, and very modest with it.
How amazing that the butterfly should come to you like that, it surely seems to be a sign from your Nik, especially after landing on the kookaburra.
On the day of Jane’s funeral, I saw a squirrel run across the back fence. My living room was full of Jane’s friends and our family waiting for the coffin to arrive so we could follow her to the crematorium.
I’d never ever seen a squirrel at such close range before, and never in my back garden. To me it seemed a sign from Jane, and then just before I moved from England to Australia, having sold my house, I again saw a squirrel again run across the fence.
At the time I thought I was being fanciful, but kept the memory in my mind. Since then I’ve heard other stories of how the person left behind has been given some kind of sign from their loved one, and I’m sure that it’s true. I especially could associate with the sentiment you gave when talking about Nik’s ashes being the heaviest load you’ve ever felt, that’s so true.
Ann x

Nina and Rob Spaan | 04 May 2010

I’ve had some weird dreams and experiences. About 6 months after Chris died, I woke to a sense of heavy pressure on my bed. I was living and working away from home so I was by myself.Even though I woke up the sense of pressure remained and it was my son, my father in law and my own father – all of whom had died. I didn’t have any sense of malevolence, just that they had come to visit together to let me know Chris wasn’t alone. I had the same experience last week. Also had a nightmare which was so frightening that I won’t describe it but essentially Chris was there very briefly and then was taken away again.I’m often very busy in my dreams, driving through impossible terrain in cars that don’t have proper steering, swimming through dreadful creeks that are deep and turbulent. I dream that I have given birth to babies and I dream that I am forever clearing up messes which just get worse. Sometimes after my busy nightlife I’m pretty exhausted.

Nina

Julie McIntyre | 05 May 2010

Hi Nina
I am so glad you joined and shared your dream. My daughter had a similar experience to you. When my kids were all living home Lee would run into her bedroom jump on bed the crawl up to lick her ear.
At the time of Lee’s death my daughter Jo was living in Darwin. She came down for his funeral and stayed a few months before returning to Darwin. At about the time Lee came to me he also visited Jo in Darwin. She described the weight on her and when she opened her eyes she saw Lee, he came to lick her ear. She said,
“Lee you are dead why are you here, you’re scaring me” He left and Jo cried many times because he didnt return. She thought she scared him off, eventually he came back when she was strong enough to see him.
So are the dreams real, I thinks so..
Sometimes I think I am busier at night than in the day. Have you ever heard of out of body experience or OBE. I have done some reading and figure if I cant visit Lee in this realm then I will in his. Hasen’t happened and not through a lack of trying. I am wondering Nina if this is part of what you are doing. Problem is you are experiencing some scary stuff. My hubby describes his dreams as flying, he tucks his legs under and just takes off. He sees the buildings and country below. Best I have done is look down on my roof, I told my hubby and I havent flown since.
I to have had some bad nightmares but they have involved the driver who caused Lee’s death. I think those nightmares are only because I cannot put a face to him. He never appeared in court so in my mind I turn him into a monster whereas if I saw him in the flesh he would look just like anyone else.
Anyway Nina maybe you should try meditating, I think this might help you to control where you go in your dreams. I am no expert but if we are to believe there is another world, and I have to, then dreaming or meditation is the only way to communicate.
Sweet dreams to all xx

Julie McIntyre | 05 May 2010

NIGHTMARE “Why does he Laugh”

“I was driving to the shops and I had to stop to give way at an intersection. A blue ford slowed and came towards me, I heard laughing, the engine revved. As it cruised so slowly past the driver stared into my eyes, he laughed louder. Fear hit me as I realised it was the driver who caused Lee’s death. Panic surged through me, I couldnt control myself. I excelerated to escape the laughing, just before I crashed I woke.”

Still causes a surge of fear just thinking about this nightmare, how do I see the face of a person I have never seen?

ANN LEWIS | 05 May 2010

Well done Nina and Julie.
This isn’t about a dream, but it’s something that brought out feelings I didn’t know I had in me.
I was looking at Facebook, as I have friends and family in England who use it, and it helps me keep in touch. I suddenly decided to search for a woman who lived in Israel, and lo and behold there she was, complete with a baby in her arms. Paul, my husband came into the room, and I showed him the picture. He asked who it was and I said, " That’s the woman who killed my daughter!" I really shocked myself saying that, as I didn’t think I had it in me to put it like that. I’d felt proud because I didn’t feel hate towards the woman, it had been an accident, she’d fallen asleep at the wheel of the van. There was obviously a deep seated resentment towards her though, especially seeing her with her baby. My Jane could never have the pleasure of having her own child, my grandchild. I felt bad about those feelings later, and haven’t felt them again, but it shows that we have feelings inside that we keep hidden, but are really there all the time. This is the first time I’ve told anyone about this, apart from Paul of course.

Julie McIntyre | 06 May 2010

Thanks Ann, hey our dreams are working, not all dreams or messages are meant for the person who feels or see’s them, often they are meant for someone else. We prompted you to open up.
We are all human and its okay to feel resentment and anger. Its what we do with those emotions that count.
I felt the most extreme of anger but never would I have acted on my anger by hurting someone physically, not even the man resposible for my anger.
We should never to beat ourselves up for feeling that way, I had been emotionally traumatized like all of us. I couldnt help the way I felt. So dont ever feel bad, you are normal. I am so glad you told us.

I believe in the saying, ’You can see more from your heart than from your eyes.
Ann you see from the heart. xx
Maureen hope you are okay after the book xx
I cant help but worry

Maureen McKenzie | 06 May 2010

Dear Julie, Ann and Nina – thank you so much for your honesty – I’ve had many amazing dreams and experiences since my two treasured souls have died. I’ve just read Julie’s book -I cried, felt angry, understood and totally related to so much of it – I’ve also learnt from it. Thank you Julie you are a ‘woman of spirit’! I haven’t been in the same situation but I have a different understanding now of the anger you would feel towards someone who took your dear one’s life. Ann you have also every right to feel anger and so deprived – not only of your treasured daughter but of future grandchildren. Please know how much I care. My world is different now but I’m so grateful every day since joining this site for the opportunity to meet such like-minded souls -that is my inspiration! Thank you from my heart, Maureen x

Maureen McKenzie | 06 May 2010

PS: Thanks Bek also!
“Just put your ear down next to your SOUL and listen hard.”
by Anne Sexton

Drug driver survivor | 06 May 2010

Maureen about Butterflies – my partner who died (not a crash) used to give me butterfly cards. Since hes gone everytime I feel strong pining butterflies came around close to me or land on me.

About dreams – my Mum who was killed in a crash by a drug driver smashing her is seen in a horror dream by her sister dropping from the sky all bloody and battered.

For myself I have no sense of Mums ongoing existence whatsoever – it is like her pain and experience was so bad that I imagine it destroyed her completely – what mind could survive that or live on knowing how much that experience she had has ruined and left unpeaceful so man lives.
I think she’d prefer oblivion as she was a helper and rescuer but that would be too much healing for even her to consider. So I feel she is fully divorced from worldly concerns if still existent because she could not cope with knowing how badly everyone is effected. Many depended on her.

But I’ve had clearly real visits in half sleep states from my partner. He just visited to save my life by letting me know he still exists and is doing great and that we’ll be together again. Without this info I’d have let life go – as I was in the in between world.
It’s the tunnel between the world of light and of dark and is a place of weak but recharging energy. You can give it up if longing to follow the love one on a quest for them, or decide to go back in the world of light awhile. If you go back in the light (get reborn really) you bring with you the knowledge of the dark – which is the value of life. There is life in death and death in life.

Julie McIntyre | 07 May 2010

Hi drug driver my Dad died on the 5th anniversay of Lee’s death.
I haven’t felt him either. Dad had enough of this world and went straight
home. He wanted to go home to the Highlands, he told us just before
he died. I got an email which was titled ‘how to get home to Scotland’
that was confirmation he got there. Dad loved Scotland.
And just as I said some dreams and MSG may be meant for someone else
lee’s best mate wrote me about lee coming to him to say he was an Ok spirit
He seems happy. My MSG from Lee for Mothers day via his best mate
Hope this reads ok sent from my iPhone. Xx

Glynis | 10 May 2010

Hi Julie
I just wanted to tell you about a message I feel was from Nick, and if I look I find many. It was not long after you and I exchanged emails before Xmas and in your email you said that we must believe our children are still with us, and that believe had become your favorite word. A short time after this I was at Ned’s at Welland looking at all the things on the shelves, there was a wrought iron wall plaque that said “BELIEVE” I stood looking at it and remembering what you had said, just then two small boys who where playing on the floor nearby started talking about someone named Nick, the first boy said “his name is Nick” and the second boy said “Nick that’s not a very common name” and with that they ran away out of the shop. I didn’t realise the significance of it until I was on my way home, but I went back the next day and bought the sign and it sits on my mantle piece in my lounge room to remind me.
Love Glynis ♥♥♥

Julie McIntyre | 10 May 2010

Thats amazing Glynis I already bought that same believe sign from Ned’s at Welland. Its hanging on the wall above my TV. I look at it everytime I mute the stupid Adds. Yes you just have to believe, my daughter in law bought me a book for mothers day, its called,
‘The Woman’s book of Dreams’
When I told her this would be handy for my group she asked ‘What Group?’
I went on to explain about this group. She didnt know about the group when she bought me the book.
Anyway as I read if anything jumps out at me I will let you all know. I am sure there is something in the book I need to read.
I also got a bracelet with Believe written on it.
love julie xx

tracy martin | 10 May 2010

Dear Julie,
thanks so much for creating this wonderful group,a few nights ago i logged in as it was 4 am and it was another one of those bad nights again, i havent been on here for a while, mainly because ive been so down i have no voice, if that makes sense to anyone.
Funny thing was i just had this urge to log in and your group came up straight away, it was just what i needed, i sat there and read everyones story twice. Ive only remembered one dream though, with my son in it, but it was really meaningful,I keep asking for more though,Im pretty sure im having dreams because i wake up knowing ive done something but just cant remember anything,but i have had the most awesome signs and felt his energy lots of times.
I remember my son asking me a few years ago, do you really beleive there is life after death mum, and i remember telling him,yes BJ with every fibre inside of me i beleive there is, he just gave me a real serious look and said, im not so sure, and then i said to him i cant make you beleive in anything you have to go with what you feel, and then he said i want to beleive you mum, i guess ill find out for myself one day.
Tracy xx

ANN LEWIS | 11 May 2010

Wow, I’m so envious of you all for having the ability to feel presence and read messages into things that are happening to you.

I feel sure at times that Jane is around me, but I don’t have any clear cut signs, or maybe I’m not very good at reading them.

Your stories have encouraged me to try harder to pick out signs, although maybe they will come to me when I’m not expecting them?

Thanks again for your stories.

Ann x

Julie McIntyre | 11 May 2010

Hi Tracy I am so glad you joined and yes I know exactly what you mean about having no voice.
For a year a magpie used to land on the lawn at our work. He had a broken leg so I called him Limpy and I would feed him every day. One morning Limpy wasnt waiting to greet me. Across the street I saw a magpie lying on the road. I felt sad as I announced that Limpy must have been hit by a car.
Lee looked and shrugged,‘It happens Mar.’
A few days later Lee was hit by a car.
Lee told many he wouldnt live a long life, looking back, I wonder if he was being guided by a higher force to another realm, he had a different view on life to everyone else. Lee had a sense of humor but if we ever talked about life after death he too would become serious.
I know I dream but usually cannot remember what the dream is about.
Once I woke from a dream sobbing, it was when Lee sat on my bed. I heard a voice say ‘We will not bring Lee back until you are strong enough to see him’
So now I see Lee mostly in meditations and he is always wearing his black full face helmet. But I believe meditations and dreams are much the same.
I will put more of my experiences as time goes by and hopefully others will feel a connection xx

Julie McIntyre | 11 May 2010

Burning Rubber

One night my sister and I were still at the office, it was about 6pm and 6 months after the crash. It was winter and dark and cold outside. The office is located upstairs and the windows were shut to keep out the cold. My sister still had not switched off her computer, I noticed an icon on the desktop called Lee which I asked her to open. It turned out to be a video of Lee and his mates doing burnouts down the port dock. Lee was filming and I could hear his commentry over the noise of the car engine. The driver was spinning the wheels creating black smoke.
I said, “If he doesnt take off soon he will blow the tires.”
At that precise moment the car took off and we could hear the cheers coming from the onlookers.
Black smoke continued to fill the screen on the computer. A creepy feeling came over me as I watched my sister go a white shade of pale.
The smell of burning rubber in the office was unmistakable. There was no traffic outside. The smell lingered for about a minute. I could feel Lee’s presence. It was as if he was saying.
“See Ma! Now you know what I used to get up to when I was a teenager.” He was laughing at us both.
As the smell of the smoke faded so did the feeling of Lee’s presence. I thought,atleast I am not going crazy alone.

Glynis | 12 May 2010

Hi Julie

I am getting away from dreams a little but as much as I ask for them I never seem to get many. I would like to share another experience that I felt came from Nick. It was New Years Eve and I was at home waiting to pick Sam up from work at McDonalds. He rang and asked if he could go to a party with some of Nicks friends after work, I wasn’t entirely happy about it as he is only 15, but he gets a lot of comfort from being around Nick’s friends, and as I know them well I said he could go and I would pick him up at 1.00 am. To get to where the party was I had to go through the backstreets past the Football club were we had Nicks Wake and where, as a family we had spent some fun times. (I only go past there about once a month at the most) I got a text message on my phone at the exact moment that I was passing the football club, I pulled over to read the message and it was from the barmaid that works at the same football club. The message said simply “I love you” She had no way of knowing that I was going past and was busy at work when I received the message. In the 11 month since Nicks death she has only sent me 3 text messages, so its not something that happens often. When I asked her about it later, she said that she had sent the message at 8pm. I received the text at 12:55am I know the phone companies get busy on NYE but I had sent and received other messages with no problems early that night so why did this one wait until the exact moment I was driving past where it was sent from.

Glynis ♥♥♥♥

Julie McIntyre | 12 May 2010

Hi Glynis

‘I love you’ came from Nick I have no doubt in my mind. They get their messages through, timing them perfectly.
By now you would know my favorite word is
Believe.
Last Xmas we were holidaying in America. On NYE we attended a Western Night in the stumps of North Dakota. It was in an old shearing shed transformed into a place for social enjoyment.
There were probably 500 people enjoying the festivities. I sat in the corner by the Xmas tree pretending I was having a good time. At the strike of midnight I moved to accept a kiss. As I did so my eyes stared straight at an ornament on the Xmas tree. The word Believe was hanging on the branch. I thought how unusual it was to hang Believe on a Xmas tree. I instinctly knew believe was meant for me. I removed it from the tree and it now hangs in my bedroom.
Glynis what happened to you on NYE was meant to happen and it was meant for you and you read it well.
You just need to believe,there are no coincidences. When you can keep an open mind everything will make sense.
This dream site is not only for posting a dream but for those who has felt a loved one coming through. They will leave signs or find ways to get a msg through, but to receive them we must let go of any distressing emotions.
Throughout the many meditations I attended at different locations all had one message in common.
Trust your own instinct and gut feeling. They are usually right. xx

Nina and Rob Spaan | 15 May 2010

Hi everyone, so good to be able to share these things. I’m going to try meditation to see if I can get in touch with Chris more often through dreams. I have been missing him a lot today. Last night’s dream was a crazy one. I was looking at a house we were thinking of buying. It had the sea on one side and a kind of swamp on the other. as I was checking it all out, the sea rolled in on the beach side like a tsunami – roiling 30 foot waves. Sharks and “sea boars” were left behind (pretty sure sea boars don’t exist!!) The sea boars ate the shark and I was protesting to the real estate agent that it wasn’t safe and you culdn’t take kids to that beach or even lice near it. Don’t know what that one was about!

The main message in these dreams though is that I am alone and having to find ways to survive. I’m not alone though as I have another son and my husband and grandchildren and my sister. But I think it’s about being alone in this empty grief. I would love to experience just one peaceful night’s sleep. But I haven’t had one for seven and a half years.

Love to you all XX Nina

Julie McIntyre | 16 May 2010

I feel sad and to top off the morning the morning I found out that the mouse my pussy caught had been living in my toaster. It wasnt till I put the toaster away I realised he was living the drawer where I kept the toaster. So I probably ate mouse s..t in my vegemite. My hubby rang, he is in training for his upcoming trip in India. When I told him about the mouse in my vegemite he laughed, I cried telling him it’s not funny. I suppose it is funny just as long as I dont get sick. I hope this gives you a laugh, sometimes it pays to see the funny side of things.
Nina I am trying to give you and answer to your dream. You have dreams vivid dreams and its good you remember. Remembering to remember is the key. I have frightening dreams but I dont remember. All I know is I have a great fear of something. The night before last I asked my hubby if he heard me scream through the night. Our sleeping patterns have changed so much we cannot even sleep in the same room. He likes the room cold, dark and dead silent where as I have the room with dim light, warm and always with the radio on low. In my nightmare someone or something is always chasing me. I dont know if its the fear of another knock at the door or the fear of the driver whom I have never met and caused Lee’s death. All I know is they are terrifying despite one of my most vivid meditations where Lee told me,
‘Mar you need never fear again!’

Nina there is a saying oh so true.
‘our grief is as individual as our lives’
elisabeth kubler-ross

You are very much intune and on path. With every dream find the answer for only you will know it.
I remember in a vivid meditation a beautiful soul, ‘person’ came to me as a nurse or healer as some would call them. She said nothing but stroked my face and hair. In all the caring doctors and nurses I have met in my life none have ever been as comforting as this lady in my dream.
I hope soon you will find her.
Love julie xx

Jacqui Wight | 18 May 2010

Last Month i had the same horrible dream 4 times. Im at the crash scene standing by the driver side door while the car is on fire. In my hands are several sets of keys which i use frantically to try and unlock the door. When i finally unlock the door i pull the handle to open the door but it still doesn’t open. I keep trying to pull the handle and end up ripping it off. I then wake up in a total panic my heart racing, just about beating out of chest.

This dream is so vivid & horrible that i have left out a few details, i really hope that i don’t have it again. The actual crash was now over a year ago, i had a couple of dreams just after it happened but they weren’t that bad. It seems strange that i just started having that bad dream out of the blue.

Maureen McKenzie | 18 May 2010

Jacqui my heart stopped when I read your dream -I had horrendous dreams after my husband died from burns when a car exploded and once again after my son died. I can still remember every detail – if only I could ‘delete’ them! Too painful! It must’ve been hell to witness it. Like you, I still have these nightmares out of the blue! Take care, Maureen x

Julie McIntyre | 18 May 2010

Hi Jaqui
I am so glad you joined. I am no councellor but I think the dreams or nightmares you are experiencing are because you are suffering from a feeling of helplessness or maybe even guilt. And dont forget shock and pyschological trauma.
There are always the what if’s. If you could have done more you would, and why, because you care. You proved it when you joined this site. Often we hear of others who do something heroic say they did what anyone else would do. They acted on intinct and we all function on instinct. But we dont feel instinct when a situation is hopeless. In these situations I believe the tragedy was meant to be; part of a plan or even mapped out before we were born. You witnessed a hopeless situation there was nothing you could do.
I hope I have explained my version of your dream but if these dreams continue maybe you should try someone qualified.
When dreams are vivid there is usually a reason, you need to find it, only then will the dreams stop.
You have been witness to a real life horror scene. You are intitled to victims of crime compensation, claim it and use it to help you get through this nightmare.
Hope this helps. Tonight try thinking of somewhere in the world you would like to be. You never know you might go there in your dreams.
love julie

ANN LEWIS | 20 May 2010

Hi Julie, I think what you say makes a lot of sense. I believe also that our life is mapped out for us now, since I lost my Jane.

Jane went away, sometimes on her own, sometimes with a group called Contiki, at least twice a year and had some wonderful holidays. I really appreciate that she was able to do that, but it was if she had known that she had to cram everything into the time she had!

She had many friends, and they used to say that she helped them with their problems. If they went out for a night out, she was the one in the corner talking to a little old man who “looked lonely.” She seemed to grab every opportunity offered to her in life, and we have said since, that maybe this was meant to be because her life wouldn’t be a long one.

Jacqui, we still subconsciously try to protect our children don’t we, I guess we’ll never stop being a mother to them and trying to keep them safe in our hearts? I hope you find comfort from this site, and this group, because it’s a great opportunity to express how you feel without judgement. x

Julie McIntyre | 22 May 2010

Yes Ann I would say Jane had an inner sense of the journey she planned to travel. She lived a longer life in her short years than most of us who live a whole lifetime. I reckon Jane was an old soul who understood the true meaning of life.

Well I am going to post a Meditation which at the time was spooky and creeped me out.
xx

Julie McIntyre | 22 May 2010

Angel of Death

While most meditations are serene some can be a little alarming.

Deep in thought my soul soared to the top of a mountain. I sat watching hundreds of dark figures walking into a tunnel. I was curious and confused. What weird thing is happening now? I came out of the meditation feeling completely bewildered.

As usual after each meditation we are invited to share our experience with the rest of the group. When I explained what I saw the group leader said,

“Can’t you see what you are being told? It is what is planned for you and Lee is going to help you.”

“What?” I asked.

“You are the Angel of Death and what you have just experienced are people making the transition to the other side.”

“I don’t like looking at dead people.” I was spooked.

“Well this is is your destiny.” He replied.

Strangely the group leader was correct, several years on and I am a volunteer in palliative care.

ANN LEWIS | 25 May 2010

Last night I had a dream, which although disjointed I remembered it for a change. Jane was here with me in Australia, and we visited the markets and shops together as we had when she was alive.

We turned to each other and commented on the clothes and tried on some of them while the other commented about big bums etc as we used to. I took her to see the various places of beauty such as the twelve apostles, as she’d never managed to get to Melbourne.

It was such a happy dream, and then I woke up gutted!

Julie McIntyre | 26 May 2010

Jane did visit you Ann, its her way of saying she will be supporting you on Friday. And she is probably saying you should do a bit of shopping too, she will make sure you get a bargain.

On Saturday Mum and I were window shopping at Westlakes. In a shop window, I cant even remember the name of the shop, anyway it had figurines in the window. One caught both my eye and Mum’s. I dont know if I mentioned my Dad left this world 2 days after the book launch. Lee left on the 26th Dad on the 28th. Anyway the figurine was of a fisherman and his face was Dad’s. Same bushy eyebrows and thick hair. We both laughed at the resemblance.
That day my hubby had gone charter fishing for tuna. On the same day or I should say that night he had a dream. My Dad walked on to the charter boat and my hubby (Len) said,
‘Where have you been Ferrit?’ That was my dad’s nicname.
He replied ‘Oh Ive been here and there!’
Len said the dream was so vivid.
Immediately my thoughts went to the fisherman in the window. I am going to buy him.

This may sound strange but the signs are there we just have to see them.

I have some sad news and happy news. When Len was discussing the dream I also told him I was going to see my friend again who is in hospice care. I had seen her the day before. Just at that time a message came on my phone. Len read it and said its from your friend you dont need to go see her. She had passed peacefully, an hour later we were at my daughters for dinner. My baby girl is going have a baby.
And so the Circle of Life continues.

Julie McIntyre | 26 May 2010

Meditation

I went to meditation tonight and I just couldnt relax enough to see anything. There were a couple of people who felt a presence standing where I was sitting, one even said she thought the presence was Lee.
Well I didnt see or feel Lee and felt a bit disappointed that others could feel him and I couldnt. I wondered if they were making it all up but then why would they?
Soon it was time to go home and as I made my way out of the car park my Navman started to give me directions.

‘How the heck did that turn on?’I thought

We hadnt used it for a week and it was put under the seat well hidden from thieves who think nothing of a smash and grab.
At first I thought I was hearing things until I got out of the carpark and it told me to turn right which was my way home. I didnt expect to hear the voice again as I was still wondering why it had suddenly turned itself on. The Navman directed me to my garage and when I picked it up off the floor the time said 9.26
The number 26 very significant being the day Lee left this world. Well Lee seems to be testing my sanity again.
So rather than worry about my sanity I decided to say.
‘Thanks Lee I got it,’

ANN LEWIS | 26 May 2010

I’m delighted to hear your news about a new grandchild. You have something wonderful to look forward to now.

xx

Maureen McKenzie | 27 May 2010

Julie how beautiful there is a new little ‘angel’ addition to your family. When my grand-daughter was born my son rang the next morning- “Mum you won’t believe it a kookaburra flew past the hospital window”(many floors up)!
I said “It’s John watching over her”. The kookaburra is a symbol of my late husband – they were above the pool when John was badly burnt, took over his outdoor funeral and have been with us at the most incredible times. There are so many ‘coincidences’ with butterflies and kookaburras now – whether I’m just open to it or a bit crazy, who cares,it brings me comfort! I just say “thank you”.

Julie McIntyre | 27 May 2010

I think there is probably a bit of crazy in all of us. Like you I welcome a little crazy and you know something even crazier. My baby’s, baby is due on Lee’s birthday 5th Jan. And just to add a little more crazy, my son told Jo the baby will be born on the 8th, he didnt know Lee’s due date was actually the 8th but Lee always the winner, came 3 days early.

So I like crazy and just as John watched over the birth of your grand-daughter Lee is watching over his sister and and our new angel.

Maureen remember the book you gave me? there are no coincidences what happens is meant to be. xx

ANN LEWIS | 27 May 2010

Long live crazy!!! xx

Ange | 29 May 2010

Hi All, I truely beleive nothing is coincidence & indeed long live crazy. I am so releived to read your stories and discover you are all having similar experiences to me. I have found I cannot talk about my experiences with Smitty to my friends because they either think I have lost the plot & imagining things or that I am willing him back & won’t let go. If you hear thi enough you start to beleive it.
My first experience was when I went to identify him, I turned my mobile off at the hospital & didn’t turn it back on until I was in my friends car heading back home – the message chime went – it was a voice message from Smitty asking “Hey can you give me a call, I’ve got a bit of a problem”, I hung up muttering ÿou don’t have any problems anymore".
Next, my daughter had written a letter to her Dad that she wanted to give to him & we went & said our goodbyes at the funeral directors – After a few minutes of the two of us standing at this coffin my daughter said to me “Mum, he’s not dead”, I was not looking at her & just said “Please don’t say that you need to accept this” and she said “No Mum, dead people don’t cry” I looked and she was pointing to his left eye which had just shed a tear that ran down past his ear, then another while I was watching, she said “Two tears – one each Mum, he doesn’t want to be there & he is sad for us”.
I have not been lucky enough for Smitty to come & talk to me in my dreams although I am sure he puts his thoughts into mine while I sleep. He visits my daughter in her dreams & sits & speaks to her. I see him around the house walking from room to room but he doesn’t stop, I saw him so vividly one night that I chased after him asking him to stop & talk to me but I lost him. I hope one day he will stop for a chat but it is nice to know he is still around watching over us.

Julie McIntyre | 30 May 2010

Ange that is beautiful and brought tears to my eyes and yes I believe dead people do cry. Lee came to me in a dream and I know he was sad. They leave so suddenly they grieve for the life and loved ones they leave behind. But I also believe they have an angel or as some others refer to, spirit guides to get them through the shock of the crash. They are in a serene and happy place but the pain we feel, they feel.
And when you hear others say you need to let go, just smile and nod for you know different.
You never let go of the person you love. What you let go, are the circumstances surrounding the crash. You and Smitty had something perfect you dont let go of that, you hang on and live the life you know he has planned for you and your kids.
Hope its okay but I am blogging some of your words, let me know if you want it removed but I think it should be shared with everyone.
love julie xx

Glynis | 04 Jun 2010

Hi All

Before I lost Nick I thought that dead was dead and there was nothing after. I am slowly but surely changing my ideas. I have had so many “coincidences” although I am beginning to believe nothing is coincidence. I have found great comfort in books on the after life, a couple in particular called “Hello from Heaven” by Bill and Judy Guggenheim, and Life After Life by Raymond Moody and Elizabeth Kubler-ross. John Edward is my new best friend and yes! I’m crazy too

Maureen McKenzie | 04 Jun 2010

Yes Glynis I also found it hard to accept ‘after life’ before my husband died, but how quickly that belief changed! I’ve had the most amazing ‘connections’ with both of my treasured souls since they’ve died and continue to do so. Reading, searching and being open have brought me comfort that I just hold onto. I feel there is more than we can possibly understand! I’m so grateful to this group also being so open – it’s re-assuring! Maureen xo

Glynis | 04 Jun 2010

I’m quickly learning not to dismiss things I don’t understand. If someone had predicted 200 hundred years ago that we would talk to each other on mobile phones, fly to the moon, or watch pictures on a box by sending invisable signals through the air, they would have been burnt at the stake for being a witch or were they just crazy like us?

ANN LEWIS | 05 Jun 2010

My Gran lost her son Albert, my Dad’s brother, many years ago. He died of peritonitis, and although he was 25, she blamed herself for not making him go to the doctors instead of just suggesting it.

She got involved with a psychic church and took my Mum along one day to see a medium there.
My Mum went along just to accompany my Gran and really didn’t believe anything would happen.

A visitor arrived and proceeded to go through his routine, when his face changed into that of my Uncle Albert’s. My Mum clearly saw it, and from then on, she became a believer too.

I’ve thought about going to a medium, to see if I could get a message from Jane, or maybe my Gran, but I keep putting it off as I’m a bit nervous of what I might see.

Has anyone visited a medium since their loss, and what did you think of the experience?

Glynis | 05 Jun 2010

Hi Ann

I have been to a psychic a couple of times and found it a really positive experience, I just asked around and went to someone that was recommended. Have a look at this website
http://www.usenature.com/psychic.htm
and see what you think.

Good Luck
Glynis

Julie McIntyre | 06 Jun 2010

Hello everyone thanks for keeping this dream site alive, I went to the pychic fair yesterday and although I thought it was down on previous years one thing stood out.
Mum who came with me said,
‘Gee there must be alot of people who believe in this stuff’ “Yes Mum there are!” I replied.
Dont worry everytime a comment is posted I read it on my iPhone. Yes I would love more people to join and comment as I dont believe for one minute we are the only ones who have felt or questioned mysterious events. Our group is alive and I intend to post more of my dreams, meditations. Hopefully some will jog your memory of a similar dream. I have been busy this week with other work, I am a palliative care worker and have met another beautiful family. Believing in dreams and another dimesion helps me to care for those who are facing death and their loved ones who dont want them to leave. So there a huge positive in believing in your dreams. Interpreting them is the one thing you need to learn, practice makes perfect.
So sweet dreams xxx

Julie McIntyre | 08 Jun 2010

The following is an early meditation called

No Fear

As our meditation group shut our minds from the outside world, I saw a tall skinny figure enter the room and take my hand. I couldnt see his face hidden behind the black faced helmet. ‘Come,’he said ‘I am going to take you for a ride.’ I took his hand and followed him out to the ducati. ‘No,’ I said, ’I’m afraid of that bike.’ Lee replied, ’You’ll be okay.’ I obeyed and climbed on to the bike trusting my son completely. As we rode along Main North Road a bunch of hoons passed us, Lee yelled over his shoulder.
‘They will never stop the dicks Ma.’
The sensation of being on the bike was strange. As we passed other vehicles, it was as though we were invisible. Some drivers were on mobile phones; I tried to warn them they could kill but my cries fell on deaf ears.
We turned on Grand Junction Road and headed towards the old factory we once leased. It was the origin of Julen Pty Ltd trading as Grand Kitchens, which began Oct 9 1997. Lee pulled up directly in front of the old factory and put his feet down to steady the bike. Although they were hard times we have fond memories of the run down old factory. We have now relocated on Frederick Rd Royal Park. As we reminisced, Lee said
‘See how far we have come Mar.’ I knew he meant we have grown and achieved so much.
Then we took off and continued along Grand Junction road heading toward the beach. As we came to the intersection where Lee was killed I yelled, Lee slowed and said firmly but in a caring voice,
‘Ma its only an intersection.’ With tears welling in my eyes I could only see it as Lee’s gateway to heaven. We continued onto the Esplanade and headed toward Outer Harbor. As we came to the street where the man caused Lee’s death lived, Lee slowed. Again he yelled. ‘Forget him Ma.’
Lee then chucked a U turn and in an instant we were travelling Port Road. For some strange reason he rode into the Cheltenham Cemetery. Why was he bringing me there?
He slowed the ducati and stopped in front of a grave where twin toddlers, a boy and a girl who tragically drowned were laid to rest. At the time I had no idea who these children were or why I was being shown them. The toddlers were lying beside each other in a red coffin. Lee had died on a red ducati. In a letter received from a medium she described Lee as sliding his bike through the gates of heaven. There is a spiritualist tradition that says the colour red gets the soul to heaven quicker. Some months after this meditation I read in a newspaper about twins, a boy and girl who had drowned on their grandparents property and were buried holding hands in a red coffin at Cheltenham.
Lee sensed my distress; looking at the children I could feel the parents pain.
We rode out of the cemetery, up Port Rd and towards the city. As we passed Parliament House, Lee said in a humorous voice, ‘There are more dicks in there Ma.’ I smiled and agreed. We headed back to our starting point and pulled up in front of the shop where others were still deep in meditation.
Lee said,‘Now you never have to fear bikes again, now go back to the others’
I got off the bike as Lee instructed. The door to the shop was locked; how was I to get inside? ‘Walk through the walls,’ Lee said,‘You can do it.’ I trusted him and walked in to see my body sitting in the chair where I had left it. I entered my body and came out of the meditation. Lee had taken me to places I needed to go. Thanks to Lee I can now ride our Harley with NO FEAR.

Maureen McKenzie | 10 Jun 2010

Julie you have the most incredible meditations -the best I can do is try and calm my over-active mind! I do find I’m more relaxed after’ which is a plus.
I remember so vividly still the night before the 1st anniversary of my husband’s death that I, as usual, needed a drink of water. I reached over but knocked it flying and thus soaked ‘my side’ of the bed. Hesitantly I moved over to John’s side feeling weird doing that! I had a ‘real dream’ – someone tried to push me over and get in that side of the bed. I froze, terrified, but then I was given the most beautiful big hug – then I realised it was John, I just dissolved and hugged him back! I awoke feeling it was totally ‘real’ -couldn’t believe it was a just a ‘dream’. Maybe it wasn’t?! I couldn’t stop thinking about it and remember it clearly 12 years on!

Julie McIntyre | 12 Jun 2010

Maureen I am listening to a song
‘A new Day has come’ Celine Dion
Find the song it is for you.

‘A friend is like and angel who reaches for your hand, then touches your heart’

Maureen you have offered you hand and touched many hearts and your dream is beautiful, always believe it was real. As long as love can create these beautiful dreams we are never really alone.

I have had a bad week, dropped my bundle, god I miss Lee soooo much and even my faith in dreams is being tested. So now its time to start my iPod.

Glynis I am thinking of you today and hope you and your family can feel your baby, brother and friend around you as you to make this day a positive. He really is only a heartbeat away. Look for a sign. XXX

Geez now I am listening to
‘We dont say Goodbye’ maybe thats your sign.

Glynis | 13 Jun 2010

Thank you Julie

Well as usual the day wasn’t as bad as anticipated; I find that’s true with most anniversaries. We went and spoke to the students of Sam and Nick’s school with the road safety program on the anniversary of the crash, the response from the students was overwhelming and the message certainly hit home, just hope it says with them. Then on the anniversary we went to Glenelg where the pavers have been laid and met about 40 family and friends of Nick’s and we went to the Watermark for a drink and then most of us went for a meal, I didn’t feel a sign but I know he would have loved his family and friends together remembering him with love.
Glynis ♥♥♥♥

Maureen McKenzie | 13 Jun 2010

Julie thank you for your beautiful words and song – I printed off the words to it – unreal! I also go through stages of questioning all my beliefs, dreams, etc. but don’t give up on them, I believe they are our connection and we need to hold onto them, so hard though at times. Take care, you are such a giving soul!
Glynis you are also amazing how you give out even when it’s the hardest times, been thinking of you on the anniversary of your dear Nick. Mx

Rose O'Reilly | 27 Jun 2010

Sometimes my dreams are full on and I wake up exhausted. This morning is one of those days.
Jack had a sheepskin rug which he slept with for many years. This rug meant a lot to him. Even as a teenager he would occassionally check with me that I had it stored somewhere safe. When he died and had to be laid out in a coffin, that rug went under his head.
My dreams through out this night just gone, was with Jack looking for that rug.
It has left me this morning feeling tired and teary.

ANN LEWIS | 28 Jun 2010

I’m now preparing to visit the UK to see my family once again. I’ll be away for over a month, but still able to get online.

Maybe because my mind has been full of so many different emotions, I feel as though I’ve had some signs from Jane that I actually noticed.

I came out of the bedroom and the kitchen door, which I never shut, was closed. The door for the central heating control box was open another day. The door won’t open without force, so it couldn’t open on it’s own. Paul, my husband just came out of the bedroom and said that his phone charger, which he’d plugged in, had just come out of the socket.

None of these things can be explained, except that I may have closed the kitchen door when my mind was on other things, but the others are strange. Is Jane trying to contact me? I felt her strength when I gave my talk to traffic offenders. I was dreading doing it, but it went well as I managed to keep control whilest still showing emotion.

Glynis | 28 Jun 2010

Hi Ann
I hope you have a safe trip to see your family, I’m sure it will be good getting back to them. I have the odd strange thing happen around the house also and I can never quite remember if it was me that did it without remembering, I also have a 15 year old who never owns up to anything. My sister has had a lot of strange things happen in her house since Nick died and just the other night she told me that she always sets two alarms to get her up in the morning one radio alarm clock and the alarm on her mobile and this particular day neither of them went off, then she picked up the landline phone to find it hadn’t been hung up from the last call, the hadset gives her the time the call was started and it was 2.00 am when everyone was asleep. have a good trip and stay safe,
Glynis ♥♥♥♥

Julie McIntyre | 28 Jun 2010

Hi Rose when you go to bed tonight remind Jack where you put his rug, keep telling him just as you did in the past, I am sure he can hear you. Jack knows his rug is not in its usual place. Keep reminding him until he stops asking. Soon Jack will send you another message via your dream.

Ann I also wish you a safe trip. And like you and Glynis I have some weird happenings. I just accept it now and dont question or doubt what I see or feel.

This morning I had to get up early as my car was booked in for a service. I woke up an hour too soon so I stayed in bed. I drifted back to sleep. Next I woke to the sound of the doorbell. I flew out of bed in a panic.
‘Damn, now I am going to be late.’
There was no-one at the door and I was up at exactly the right time.

Thanx Lee xx

Rose O'Reilly | 28 Jun 2010

Thankyou Julie, if he asks me again I will tell him what we did.
Ann,I also wish you a safe and happy trip home to the “Mother Land”.
We have a clock in our kitchen that, in the first eighteen months or so after Jack died would stop at 7am. This is the time that Jack left for work and never returned. We have had this clock for years and years and it never stopped till after Jack died. My watch also stopped late last year (it is a relitively new watch) at guess what time…7am. I don’t care what anyone says…that was Jack.

Julie McIntyre | 29 Jun 2010

Hey Rose they are the kinds to strange happenings I like to hear. I just know Jack is there with you and he has to do things that remind you of him so you know it is him. Does that sound right? Anyway it reminds me of the post I put up on the 26th May, Lee died on the 26th May, so have a read,

Also when Lee was with us he used to call past around 7.30am to pick up our dog Roxy. She used to go to work with us everyday and Lee would take her in the ute, rather than in our car where she would leave little white furs weaving into the seat. She was a white bully with black spot on her eye. Lee was going to take over our family business.

Anyway after Lee left maybe a month I lost track of time at that stage. Roxy would sleep outside in her kennel and Lee would open the door and call her and she would come through the doggy door. My hubby was in the shower I was still in bed. It was 7.30am, when he got out of the shower he said,
‘Did you let Roxy inside’ I replied
‘No I am still in bed’
Well how did she get in, all the doors are closed.
My reply, ‘I guess Lee called passed and let her in’ We never did work that one out.

Roxy died about 2months after Lee, she was 10years and lived her life.
We took her to the vet and put her to sleep.
My other son rang and asked about Roxy.
I told him,
‘Lee came and picked her up, she is with him now’
Roxy has been seen with Lee in a meditation by my sister who is (or was) a complete skeptic.
I will post that meditation when next I log in, I am still at work.

Keep believing Rose…that was Jack xxx

Julie McIntyre | 29 Jun 2010

Oops just read my post, Lee died 26th November I wrote May stupid me…

ANN LEWIS | 18 Jul 2010

Hi there, I’m still in England on holiday, and received an email from Maureen asking if I’d seen any squirrels while I was over here, as I’d previously mentioned seeing squirrels and associating them with my Jane.

Up to that point, I hadn’t seen any in England, but the very next day a squirrel ran across the road in front of our hire car!

This has got to be more than a coincidence, and no one could convince me otherwise.

Bye for now, someone kindly let me use their computer while I’m away.

Ann

Maureen McKenzie | 19 Jul 2010

Ann I’m so pleased you saw that little squirrel, how special. Miss you from ‘Down Under – JBRT Land’! Much love Maureen x

Julie McIntyre | 20 Jul 2010

Lesley’s meditation experience.

Julie asked me to come with her to a meditation group. The thought of having to sit through a night pretending to meditate with a bunch of what I thought were weidos, made me cringe. I quickly dismissed the thought. Julie’s heart was broken and I would have done anything to ease here pain even if only for a short time, so off to meditation I went. I have to admit to being a sceptic and thought it was a load of rubbish.

My first impressions of the group, most of who appeared to me a little strange, confirmed my scepticism. There were around 10 of us in the group and we all sat around in a large circle. In the center of the circle were crystals. The group leader told us to choose a crystal, it would help us to focus. She started to prattle on about Chakras and explained that within our bodies are focal points of energy that we use to affect reality and allow us to fully experience and realise the events about to unfold. These focal points are chakras and I thought yeah right, and I am the Queen of Sheba. My next concern was getting through the meditation without breaking into uncontrollable laughter.

We closed our eyes and it seemed that no sooner had I closed my eyes I was awake again. Looking down I saw a bull terrier with a black patch over one eye. The dog appeared to be smiling and was staring back at me. I remember thinking, ‘My God this is the happiest dog I have ever seen.’ For some reason I had a sense of having to look after the dog. I led her around the group but no-one seemed the slightest bit interested. I kept saying,‘Have you ever seen such a happy dog?’ No-one answered me, it was as though we were both invisible. Before I knew what was happening we were told to come back from the meditation. What a strange experience!

The group leader went round the circle asking people about their experience. Julie didnt want to talk about hers and started to cry. I felt stupid but I told them about my experience with the dog. Julie’s face went a whiter shade of pale. She told me that Lee was showing her around on the bike. The much loved dog, a white bull terrier had died shortly after Lee. A medium had told Julie that Lee had a dog, whose name was Roxy. It seemed that while Lee was taking Julie for a ride on the motorbike, I was left to dog sit.

That was the first of many strange experiences I would have.

Now I am a believer.

Julie McIntyre | 20 Jul 2010

Hi everyone I havent been on much lately, lost my way a bit, I guess I have to practice what I preach, BELIEVE BELIEVE BELIEVE.

ANN LEWIS | 24 Jul 2010

On top of me seeing a squirrel here in England, where they are not a common site, Andrew my son said that he’d seen a squirrel in the same place I had by the memorial we bought together for Jane at the crem! I opened a story book to read it to my grandson Dylan 18 months old, who I met for the first time at 18months ol

ANN LEWIS | 24 Jul 2010

Sorry, I made a mess of the last posting, using Dads mouse which is totally different to mine! When I opened the book to read to Dylan, lo and behold, there was a picture of a squirrel.

Julie McIntyre | 29 Jul 2010

My grand daughter was a baby when her Uncle Lee was killed. Her name is Charlee which is Lee Charles backwards. She wasnt named after her uncle and the similarity in their names did not occur to us to until some time after Lee’s death.

2 nights ago my son, daughterlaw visited with their to kids. Charlee sat at my computer table drawing. They stayed for maybe half an hour. Charlee left me a drawing on my computer. I was taken back, she had drawn a picture of Lee,goaty and all. She wrote the words, I miss my brother and sister.

Charlee is just six years old. Why didnt she write, I miss my Uncle Lee. Where did she get those words. Instantly I knew. Lee was communicating through her, it was his way of saying his brother and sister are getting on with their lives. Matt has turned the corner coming back from depression which caused him to self medicate. Joanne is having a baby after losing one just a few months after Lee’s death. How could a six year old explain this. She couldnt, so she wrote what she knew.

When I arrive at work my son tells me he dreamt of Lee. They were in the bedroom they shared as teenagers. I told him about Charlee’s drawing. Matt replied, ‘Mar there is no doubt. The spirit world does exist.’

That morning I got an email from my sister. We have both been going through a stage of doubt.
She dreamt of being in a room, it was dark and empty. She expected that someone would materialize but instead she felt a tap on her shoulder. The tap woke her up, she swears it was real. ‘Wakeup this IS real’ was the message.

In the afternoon I visited a friend who is suffering a terminal illness. Its his birthday and I ask him, how old.
He replied, ‘34’ his wife said no you r 66
To take the positive from his error I mentioned that I read or heard that when a person ex children return to the spirit world they go back to their early 30s.

As we were talking the phone rings, the person is their daughter. The wife mentions to her what I said. Her daughter replied.
‘Mum you know when Jesus died he was 33 and that all who join him are 33.’

Apparently this is the belief for Catholics, I am not so I didnt know.

Either way this brought comfort to the wife who is nursing her husband to the very end.
I said, your husband is 34, not quite 33, he has a little time left. They both smiled.

How can I ever doubt my beliefs, there are no coincidences.

Ann I am off to America, maybe I will see your cute little squirrels.xx

Julie McIntyre | 30 Jul 2010

This is for my dreamers and believers sent to me today.. I hope it gives you some comfort.

Message from a loved one..

“Do not worry, I am not suffering. Do not blame yourself…there is nothing you could have done.. I did what I came to do, and then I moved on.. I had no need to experience anymore of this lifetime.. I will remain with you, as I have remained with you.. The bond between us is strong.. You know that I am here because you can feel my love and my presence.. You have also allowed yourself to see me on occassions.. You want to believe but you do not need to believe, you only need to accept.. There is no need to be sad, you must remember the happiness and joy..I am not gone from your life, but my role is different..There has been no loss, only change..Do not be sad, there is sadness within your heart..You have made that sadness the centre of your existence..Remember the love past,feel the love now, and allow that love to be the centre of your existence,you will draw love to yourself…While sadness remains at the centre of your existence, you will continue to draw sadness to yourself..Remember the love,Feel the love,Do not feel loss because there is no loss, Only change.” Tsunyota Kohe’t

With love xx

mum of five | 03 Aug 2010

What a beautiful message.

I have just read through all of the comments written here, so many stories
On the night Tanya died, we had to leave home and go straight to the W.C.H. in Adelaide where Sarah was being operated on. She was in intensive care and we didn’t want to leave her side. We felt like we were being torn in two – there were so many plans to make and decisions to be made for Tanya’s funeral. I reluctantly chose to stay at the hospital while a lot of the planning and running backwards and forwards to home was left to the rest of the family. Sarah as yet was not even aware of what had happened, and her Primary school teacher and a family friend spent the day with her, so that we could comfortably leave her to come home on the day of Tanya’s Funeral.I didn’t get to see Tanya again after that first night to say goodbye. Our only son and two other daughters chose Tanya’s clothes and her most loved possessions to be buried with.

Last year I dreamt that after Tanya died, she was lying on a bed in our home and was desperately trying to sit up. She kept saying she didn’t want to leave us, but couldn’t get up and move. My dream seemed so real. It was so upsetting but I didn’t want it to end. I was so angry with myself for waking up before the dream finished and I could talk to her.
Although I dream all the time of when we were all together this dream was different in that it felt like Tanya was actually talking to me and explaining that she didn’t want to go but had no choice. I wonder what her life would have been like had she survived – would she have been the same person we lost that night or would life have been too different from the beautiful, fun loving, strong-willed and passionate girl we lost.

mum of five | 11 Aug 2010

this isn’t a dream, but what happened on the night that Tanya died. We were told over the phone by one of her friends that someone had seen a car in an accident that looked like Tanya’s. My husband and son drove off straight away to see what they could find while I tried to ring Tanya over and over again on her mobile. When the phone rang the first time I believed I was speaking to Tanya. A very choked, upset voice said ïts Tanya"
I asked her what had happened and she told me there had been an accident, described where it was and that Sarah was O.k. I said that I had been madly trying to ring her and that Dad was on his way and I was so glad to hear she was alright. My husband rang straight after to say they hadn’t found anything, maybe it wasn’t anything to worry about .I told him I’d heard from Tanya – to go a few kms further along the road to where Tanya had told me.
A few minutes later he rang back
trying to tell me that Tanya had passed away by the time he had arrived. I didn’t give him time to say it, and cut in and said that I had just spoken to Tanya myself. The phone went quiet and he said héd ring again. He literally ran back to the car to see for himself what had really happened and then stay with her. When he rang again it was to tell me to come as quick as I could – that Tanya had passed away and that he was going to go to Sarah (who was already on her way to the local hospital) as soon as I arrived.
All this was later written down in the police report – the time that tanya passed away, the time I recieved the Phone calls. The accident was just after 7. The Paramedics said Tanya passed away at 7.30. There were no calls made from her phone – just all the calls from me trying to find out where they were and if they were alright.
I so wanted to believe that Tanya tried to tell me that everything was alright. She passed away only after Sarah had been cut from the car and was being cared for by the ambulance crew.
We wondered if one of Tanya’s friends had called from the scene, and when they realised I thought I was talking to Tanya, they didn’t have the heart to tell me. But even the police investigation team said to us that stranger things have happened.
No one checked any further- they let us believe that Tanya had called to say her sister was going to be alright.

Maureen McKenzie | 11 Aug 2010

Jan reading that sent shivers down my spine, that is incredible! I know some amazing experiences we have are beyond explanation. That had to be a message from your dear Tanya – how beautiful she let you know that Sarah was ‘ok’. Warm caring, Maureen

Rose O'Reilly | 12 Aug 2010

At some point on the morning that Jack died, and this is hard to describe, I know that Jack spoke to me. He said “I need you Mummy” and I answered him “I am here sweetheart”. I know this happened. I know it didn’t happen out loud. It was something between him and me even though I knew he was already dead. This probably doesn’t make much sense. But it is something I think of often. I ask myself when did he speak to me, did I just imagine it, was I so distraught that I am just confused. But in the moments, when I am alone in my thoughts, I know with clarity that he spoke to me and I answered him. I know he needed me and somehow I was there.

Julie McIntyre | 13 Aug 2010

I am sitting here in our hotel room reading these amazing events, I am not going to call them a story because that word seems to make it not real.
.When Lee came to me and sat on my bed I saw the sadness in his eyes and I will always believe that he didn’t want to go. What I saw and felt was real and Jan and Rose what you saw and felt was real too. As much as I want to believe Lee’s life was mapped out, and he did all he needed to do in this life, my gut tells me otherwise. I don’t believe Lee would want to leave his little girl.
Just as we find a way to survive and move forward in time, they wait for us to join them on the other side where time doesn’t exist.
I visited Ground Zero where so many lives were lost, people of all ages, it’s difficult to comprehend the magnitude of distress and grief but the Americans are spiritual and very patriotic.
When we lose a child it’s a loss we will never get over, I hate that word, loss, I also hate The Late Mr,,,,,there are many words I can’t accept because I have to believe Lee lives in spirit.

I do like these words ’United in grief and united by hope.

Love Julie from NewYork xx

ANN LEWIS | 14 Aug 2010

Hi Julie, and I hope you’re enjoying your trip? I too find it hard to comprehend that Jane did all she had to do in her life. She had so much more to give and receive, it just doesn’t make any sense to me.

What a great experience for you to visit Ground Zero, it must have been very emotional, and brought the emotion you feel over Lee even more to the forefront.

Our children will live in our hearts forever, even though they’re not with us in body.

Love and hugs. Ann xx

Julie McIntyre | 20 Aug 2010

Just up the road from our Hotel in New York was a medium. My sister pointed it to me and said “Why dont you go hear what she has to say?”

The day before we left to come home I finally got up the courage to go in. This young woman claimed she has been able to do readings from the age of 9yrs.

Whether she could read my soul or just see the grief written on my face I cannot say.

She started by saying I have been in turmoil for the last 5 years and still are! Well its almost 6 so she is close. She said 2005 was the worst year. Lee was killed 1 month before 2005 so she was spot on. She said outright I have 3 children, good guess, she was correct. She went on to say I have suffered severe depression. She said I am a compulsive spender and have given too much to others. Yes well that is easy to say about a tourist in Macy’s. Was it another good guess?

She told me I have something wrong with my stomach, well she is close, I have a chronic Bladder infection which is resistant to antibiotics. She told me someone around me has cancer. I work in palliative care so this is what I thought she may have tuned into. Yesterday when we arrived home I was told of a relative who has cancer in the spine. Shocked I immediately knew this is who the medium saw.

This young woman was correct with everything and because of her accuracy I started to cry. It was them I made my exit knowing she had cracked me and couldnt say anymore to prove she was guenuine. Was she just a con pyschic skilled in reading my grief? Could my pyschiatrist read me without knowing? The answer, NO, it took hours and months, of councelling sessions before he really knew my thoughts. And even now I doubt he really knows me, all he does is treat the symptoms.

Prior to seeing this pychic a few strange things happened. Oh and before I tell you about them, the doorbell to the pychic had the name Lee written on the buzzer.

My Dad died 2 days after the 5th anniversary of Lee’s death. When we were riding along the edge of the Hudson River a truck drove past. I noticed it had Dads name written on the side. At that precise moment we rounded the bend and the navy ship The Intrepid stood before me. Dad served in the Australian Navy.

Next day I was walking past a group of shops. I was amazed to see a small cafe called, Lily O’Brien Chocolate shop. Lily O’Brien was my grandmothers name and ofcourse I love chocolate. I am halfway around the world in the huge city of New York and I find this shop. My Nan is one of the reasons I believe in reincarnation. She was my second mother and in a dream she told me she would wait for me to see her again before reincarnating. I have held on to that belief. All these events happened after I complained to my hubby I was homesick.

And Ann this one is for you, we went to Coney Island. We sat down for lunch and a cute little squirrel jumped up for a chip. Immediately I thought of your Jane and got a photo. He sat and posed for the camera holding the chip in his sweet little paws. See how your baby has touched the hearts of others. I didnt know her but when I saw the squirrel I thought of Jane.

Keep believing my friends love Julie xxx

ANN LEWIS | 22 Aug 2010

Hi Julie.

So many coincidences there for you aren’t there??

I’ve thought about going to a medium several times then backed off. It’s hard to know who is genuine, and who can just read your body language and interpret your answers isn’t it? You seem to have found a gem though, maybe you were pointed in that direction?

Thanks for the story of the squirrel Julie. It’s good to know that you were thinking of us, and yes, Jane certainly had an impact and still does.

Take care, Ann xx

ANN LEWIS | 27 Sep 2010

A few years ago, I paid a visit to Croydon in Queensland, as that was the site of my daughter Jane’s accident. Previously she had taken flowers to the site of her friend’s accident in Thailand, so I knew this had been important to her.

I had a laminated photo of Jane, and surrounded it by small rocks as I was told the aboriginals did to honour their own. My friend Lynnie pointed out that the small rocks were white, with a rusty coloured thread running through them, which she said was significant, white being pommie skin and the rusty colour was the colour of Jane’s hair.

Paul and I were offered a gorgeous puppy by his sister and brother in law who live in Gunadagai. We couldn’t see it at first because they lived too far away, and so and we waited until it was old enough for them to bring to us. They brought it to us and we got to see it for the first time last Friday.

The puppy is white with rusty coloured patches. I don’t know if I’m being fanciful here, but it seems as though the gift of the puppy was meant to be, and a sign from my Jane.

Julie McIntyre | 28 Sep 2010

Hi Ann,

I do believe Jane did her bit sending you your puppy. We had a similar experience when we got our Princess Lilee but thats another story. Your puppy will have you smiling, our Lilee never fails to make us smile when we are sad. She is very intuitive, once I was on my knees throwing up with a migraine, Lilee came into the toilet and put her front leg around my shoulder, she amazes me with her sixth sense.

Anyway I thought I would tell you about my 4yr old grand-daughter who and came into my office where she looked at Lee’s photo. Lee was killed before she was born but she knows her uncle well.

Emmalee,“there’s uncle Lee, he lives in heaven, he’s not happy”

I replied “Heavens nice”

Emmalee"did he get there in a plane?

“No” I replied “an angel picked him up”
“like that picture” she points to Jess’s artwork. I replied “yes like that picture, Tinkerbell.”

I dreamt of Lee 2 nights ago. He was only about 12years old. I woke up feeling very lost, not whole. When my hubby brought my coffee, I told him I saw lee in my dream.
He asked,“And how is he doing?”
I thought for a moment and said, “He’s Okay.” But deep down I wonder..

Good to hear from you Ann, would you believe I have forgotton my password, luckily its saved on my computer but I cannot login anywhere else, so I am off to start my search, or maybe I will just ask the angels, sometimes the answer doesnt come immediately but it will come.

Sweet dreams..

Julie McIntyre | 20 Oct 2010

My Mum’s birthday is coming up and as she suffers so much pain with her arthritis I decided she needed a nice new chair for her aching limbs. So down we go to the local furniture shop, Jaffers. Mum kept asking me, which chair did I like, ‘Mum’ I say, ‘The shop is yours, go choose what you want.’
She sat down on a Jade Green leather rocker, smiling she looked so at ease.
‘Is that the one, Mum?’ Just at that precise moment, my song, Unchained Melody, started playing in the shop.
‘There Mum, can you hear, Lee is saying it is the one!’
The poor guy serving, didnt know what to say as I handed him my credit card with tears streaming down my face.
How hard is it for my poor Mother to see me, her baby, always so sad..
The same shop sold stamps, strange but they do. I found a stamp, ‘Dare to Dream’ I wish and hope all of us can dream… xxx

Julie McIntyre | 03 Dec 2010

What if you slept
And what if in your sleep you dreamed
And what if in your dream you went to heaven
And there you plucked a strange and beautiful flower
And what if when you awoke
You had the flower in your hand?

Oh what then?
(Samuael Taylor Coleridge)

Thinking of you.
Rose
xo

Hi Rose
I had to copy and paste your blog here.

Last night I had a dream, I looked down in my garden and saw a Carnation laying on the ground. I bent down and picked it up. The stem had a full bloom and 2 very tight buds. I looked down to the ground, I have no carnations growing in my garden. I think I may have been in heaven.

I woke from the dream and started to think about the flower. Why had I dreamt of a carnation, I do like them but my only connection to a carnation was with my grandmother. I cant even say what color of the flower, though in this dream the color was not part of the message.

I lay concentrating trying to analize the dream. My son Matt has recently been diagnosed with severe sleep disorder, doctors told him he is lucky he didnt die in his sleep. He is only 34 but Matt was never a good sleeper even as a child. I was talking to his partner and she told me Matt is worried he might not wake up. I assured it’s not Matt’s time, I just have this gut instinct, its a feeling.

Anyways getting back to the carnation, the meaning all started to fall into place.
Lee was the full bloom, he had completed his lessons in this world and went home.
The 2 buds which were no where near ready to open represent my Matt and Joanne. They have a long way to go before completing their lessons.

Maybe I am crazy, but Rose I feel you put that poem on my blog for a reason, it was the beginning of a sign a message to come.

As I said, I was given a DVD on the 26th, 6 yrs on. Its on repeat in my car.
The first song “Calling on all angels, I need a sign”

Rose you gave me that sign, Thankyou sooooo much, I read it clear as day.
Stay open and BELIEVE BELIEVE BELIEVE your babies will send you a sign.
Hugs to all my dreamers, xxxx

Maureen McKenzie | 11 Dec 2010

Julie yesterday a friend called in she was so excited – a butterfly flew right up to her. As I opened the door it flew down the path – so beautiful! What took my breath away was her gift – a small plaque with a butterfly on it and the words “If you believe all things are possible”. She knew my connection with butterflies which was why she chose that gift. I hold onto anything that brings dear Nik closer! Maybe he knows I’m sad approaching the 2nd anniversary?! Warm hugs, Maureen xo

Rose O'Reilly | 12 Dec 2010

Talking about butterflys. Did you know that some people let them go at their wedding. Well I didn’t, I had never heard about it untill last week. We were out having dinner with some friends and it came up in conversation.
I thought what a lovely thing to do.
Then within a few days after that conversation,my oldest son and his partner rang to tell us they have set the date for their wedding next year.
One of the first things I thought was ‘Oh, I could buy some butterflys and let them go. They could be from Jack as a symbol of him being with us on his brothers big day.’
Sometimes I wonder!!!!!
Thinking of you all and especially you Maureen, being that it is a very sad time for you.
x Rose

Julie McIntyre | 13 Dec 2010

Believe, I love that word. I walked into the post office and saw a pack of Xmas Cards,
Very simple with Believe on the front, inside it said Wishing you all the magic Xmas can bring. Thats all I need for Xmas..too

Julie McIntyre | 16 Feb 2011

When you need a sign just ask? When I’m down, at work or going on holiday, I keep my heart open and always, always hear those soft words, “I am here”

Rose O'Reilly | 04 Oct 2011

Jacks older brother, Tim, is getting married in less than 3 weeks now.
As has become my practise, when a special event is looming and I don’t sleep well, I lie awake in the quietness of the night and talk to Jack.
2 nights ago I was doing just that. Sometimes the feeling that he is there in the room with me is quite strong. 2 nights ago was one of those nights.
And in my dozing state he touched me. I am sure of it. He held my foot. Just for a moment.
My darling, kind and considerate son let me know he listens to my conversations with him.
Oh, for the power of our dreams!!!!

Glynis | 17 Jan 2012

Hi Everyone I have been a bit quiet lately what with Xmas and our court case in November but I wanted to share something with you all that happened last week and just blew me away. About 6 months ago I ran into a guy at the park when I was walking the dogs and we got chatting and then realised that we used to work together about 25 years ago, I didn’t see him again until last week and we chatted again for a while. When I got home I was wracking my brain trying to remember his name. I was home alone and asked Nick out loud for some help in remembering and sat down with my coffee and logged on to Face Book. One of Nick’s good friends had posted a status about 2 minutes earlier (about the time I was asking Nick for help) Her status read “Ive just upset my best friend by telling her I think Rob Mills is a Troll” And guess what that was the name of the guy I had been chatting to and trying to remember. A different Rob Mills of course but the same name…..I think Nick was helping me. Glynis xxxx

Julie McIntyre | 18 Jan 2012

Hi to all my dream friends, it’s been a long time since our last blog. Its 7 yrs 2mths since the night my life and the lives of my family changed forever. Sleeping is not good so the dreams are few. But instead of dreams I am seeing things that others might say, “Yeh right, in you’re dreams.”
Recently I travelled to NY then across to the UK and Scotland. We had been on the plane all night and were on our way down to land in JFK. The time was around 4am. I was looking through the window. We were in the clouds but just in front and level with the plane I saw a silver circle. It was bright and appeared to be in front of the clouds. It looked like a solid ball. I couldn’t take my eyes off this mysterious object. It was not the moon and too large and close to be another plane. And no, I wasn’t dreaming. I watched it disappear behind the tail. We landed in JFK and I said nothing about what I saw.

2 days later my sister who was traveling with us said,“Julie I didn’t say anything because I might be labelled a nut. When we were landing I saw a round ball from the plane.” She described the object as large, level with the plane and said the color had a gold glow, she too was transfixed to this object and was adamant it wasn’t the moon. She thought if it was going to hit the plane. OMG I saw it too..I admitted..

So we told our sceptic partners who believed we saw something with a logical explanation, even though they couldn’t think of one.
We spent Xmas in a small medieval town, Castleton UK, I took heaps of photos. One of the photos had the same circular object of the one we saw from the plane. It’s amazing and again our sceptic companions couldnt come up with a reason. Was it a reflection, dust, moisture, all were ruled out.

Has anyone ever heard of orbs? Please tell me my sister and I are not crazy!
I had heard of them but never actually witnessed one. I could write on for hours of all the signs and coincidences that happened in our travels. The UK and Scotland go back many centuries and most of the inns, castles etc boast of having a resident ghost or 2.

I left for the trip telling everyone I wanted to see a ghost. I was thinking more of a human type with wings. But I can’t help but wonder, I did see a spirit but in a different form. So I’m going to believe it was my baby keeping us safe. And he made sure we had perfect weather and a trip I will never forget.

Whatever we saw, gave us comfort, I miss seeing Lee the way he was but I feel him everyday, and if he takes on the form of a ball, that’s OK we still love him and he knows his Mar is doin Okay 🌹🌹🌹🌹