joshua taylor - macdonald

My story

part 2

i dont know how to put this this is very big but what i have done is put part 2 up first and then part one after as i have had part one up for om time - up soon

part 1

Life has been hard, not hard that you can’t do anything but hard to stop you doing most things.

Do you just wonder what it’s like to not be able to most things, like most people do on a daily basis. do you think hay that could happen, will you be prepared, will you be ready. What will people think, what will you do

that all happen to me; you don’t think that it will ever happen to you but it did. I didn’t now at first what had happened. It was so scary all I could see was only my mum and a lot of machines. All you can do is cry not knowing why you are so upset, you cry and cry, not now why, all I can remember is that I should be at work. You get told you had a bad car crash and you are in hospital, you think for some time, why how and, why did this happen I was a good driver. But it not the end of the world, you can still get through this... it such a hard time. I didn’t know if I was going to get through this. Not knowing if I can walk or talk ever again, all I remember is having a very painful head ache; it’s so scary all, I could see is all these cord in my arms and one that is down my mouth. I wish I could just go home. I don’t even now if ever going to go home, days go by one by one and all I could do was sleep, you feel so tyred. You get told you have to go to surgery for some reason I didn’t fell worried, just happy that I am getting moved around. It was a quick operation only took 5 mins that all that I could remember, another thing that I can remember quit clear is that one of the days, is that a very lovely guy came to visit, I don’t remember to clear on how long it was for, but I thank him for doing it and staying with me for some time.

A couple of days went by, could be the same day or ever longer, I got told that I am moving to a rehab centre. But why move me I need all the help I can get why move me now, why did they have to move me I didn’t want to move places, they said the place you are going to is a very nice place, and not to worry too much about it

This part here is exactly what happened to me. I was so quiet and shy, and afraid of everything and everybody, all the way thru school. I hated the way that I was, and didn’t know how to change that. It was like it was embedded in me. And I was told that such a traumatic experience can change your personality completely, from one direction to the other. And I feel the same way. I feel that it is a gift that has been given to me, that I could have never received, any other way. And yes, I have been down a long road that still hasn’t ended, and may never, but I keep my head up and am very happy with the new person that I am. Yes, I have faults. I make mistakes. I can't remember as good as I used to. I get upset much easier than I used to. But I am human. And I also feel, as weird as it may sound, I feel that all that I have experienced to this point in my life has been a gift. And I just feel blessed to be where I am now. And to meet others that feel the same way, and have had the same experience is just really awesome. To know someone that shares the awesomeness, of a completely changed person, upstairs. I just think it is the coolest thing. My family still tends to stare at me in awe, when I start talking alot, which is quite often. But, I think they are getting used to the new me. I have accepted the new me, a long time ago

Now I have to stay at a centre that i have no idea about and just want to go home. The centre was the Victorian rehab centre, Days after day I still see no end to this. I’m in a room that only has a bed and some place to put my cloths. And I still only feel like sleeping. Sleep is the only thing that I felt like doing, another thing that I remember is having a lovely nurse always with me, not knowing what day it is and what time it is, the only thing that was stuck in my head is that I am going to be late for school, each day I got tested on what day

Of the week it is and if I now what time it is, you may think how can I remember all this it shocks me to. The mind is a strange thing,

I have been told that I was in that room for just under 1 week. It wasn’t the worse time of my life; I had a nurse/doctor for the time I was in there. After about 1 week I got moved to another room. It was near the nurses’ station.

At that stage I still found it hard to talk and could only walk from my room to the bath room which was near my room 5 meters away, during the days I started to have therapist a couple a day, one that I am glad that I got was a speech therapist.

I had to learn how to talk again, what I can remember is that it took quite some time to get me having a conversation once again.

I had a number of different thing that I had to do while I was in their as a patient to get me ready to go home. You may wonder how am I able to remember this, I wonder too I don’t remember everything, one of the hardest thing that I had to relearn I thought it was strange not knowing how to is how to be like you

Day after day, week after week, and even months pass, you see a huge improvement not 100% but enough, enough to see that I am moving forward. You may see that I am a completely new person. And not the same as you may see me as. Time at home is different, haven’t got a car to drive, it’s so hard. I haven’t been able to go back to work, hmm why would I, I can’t even walk I have got a frame a wheel chair to help me, but the best thing that is happened to me is that I am still alive

but it wasn’t the best time once I got to go home, I think it was about a couple of day being home my mum decided to go to our unties place. She has a motel up in beautiful Merimbula, my auntie, uncle and everyone one who knew me were so happy to see me and to now that I am still alive. What i can remember it was about 5 day of being up there we got a phone call. The call that my sister had also been in a car crash, what i can remember is that she wasn’t in too bad of a condition, and that she is in good care

yet to be finished

Sayings that inspire me

always pay it forward alway respect other and you will get it back. love your family like no other......

my heart is always yours. so is my love and i will always respect my girlfriend